It's been a lousy two weeks. I look okay, and sometimes I feel okay, but underneath it all there's a conflict eating away at me. It's the kind of conflict I can't fix or ignore, I just have to endure it. It undermines my confidence. It hurts my heart. It makes the simple daily requirement to be a decent person to the ones I love seem like a burden I can't carry.
Over the last 24 hours, I've had two times that I was supposed to go to an event to support people I care about. I'm not a terribly social person anyway, and in a bad mood, I'm much less so. Twice in the last 24 hours I found myself wishing the events could be canceled.
No such luck. They don't cancel football games in Montana, by the way. Not unless they close the highways. And they don't close the highways in Montana very often, either.
At the same time, deep in that undercurrent of thought, and wishing, and losing hope, I was silently praying for something to get better. Now before you expect too much, let me tell you that the conflict was not magically solved. However...
...at those two events, three separate women found me, spoke to me, and said exactly what I needed to hear. Words I wouldn't have known to ask for. Their words were encouraging and unexpected and healing.
Of course it was a God thing. I knew that right away.
But later, something else hit me. What if I hadn't listened as God nudged me into doing what I needed to do? What if God planned those little miracles for me, and I hadn't shown up?
Sometimes if you need a miracle, you have to go where the miracles are